Episode 5 Hannatu's story

As I watched my tummy grow with every single day that passed, I hated myself. I was disgusted with how I looked and what I carried.. All I could think of was that this baby looked like the first man, the beast whose face has remained ever fresh in my memory.

My mother said an abortion was not an option, but Oh to me it was, if only I knew what to take to abort this child I would take it. Even if it would cost me my very life, I was ready. I prefered death to living with the constant reminder of the worst day of my life. Sometimes I stood in front of the mirror and punched myself so hard in my tummy till I passed out and whenever I woke up to see that I was still alive and pregnant, I would collapse in tears.

My mother stood strong by me and 6 months later, after a long labor, I gave birth to a set of twins.

"Two?!" I screamed. "A double reminder of my pain? No this wasn't happening" Now I was convinced God hated me. My anger deepened and intensified.

I must admit that the girls where so beautiful. My mother named them Nasara and Alheri (meaning victory and favor). They where healthy beautiful babies. I was tempted on many occasions to fall in love with them but I fought it. I refused to love the seed of a beast. I promised myself I would kill them when I had the chance but my mother never gave me that chance. They grew up well loved and nutured by their grand mother. She never let any thing deter her from seeing joy in every situation.. Even when she began to suffer from a strange illness that left her immobile on somedays and later took her sight 4 years later..

Now situation moved from bad to worse. I'm now 16years old with a sick mother, two children fathered by my worst enemy, no education, no hope for the future..

One night, laid awake in d middle of our compound, thinking about the events that had taken place in the past and how it had interpreted into what and who I was today. The feeling of pain and fear had taken over me. I had become more agressive and violent over the years. I hated myself. I hated my life. But something keep resounding in my mind "fight".
"How? Fight who?" I thought aloud to myself but as usual there was no answer.

3weeks later Nuhu came home to visit. He hasn't been home since after my father's burial. He looked very lean and scruffy but happy, though the happines disappeared when he saw the condition of things at home but anyway we were so glad to have a full house again.

He told us stories about how he managed to survive through school. The hurdles and the temptations. For a 30 year he was really strong. We told him all.the events that had taken place over the years and how our home town had become a nightmare. He sighed a million times wishing he had stayed back to protect us. Alheri and Nasaŕa loved him as much as he loved them. It felt like finally we could have a father figure around, even though he was only around for a month.

Nuhu came for more than a visit. He also had an intention that would change my life for the better. He had come to take one of his sisters back with him to the city. And that sister was me.

...
Continues tomorrow.